Who are you guys?

2007 australian calendar terrier



Owner #1
Name. Eric Nordberg
Nickname. Kraken
DOB. Long ago
Courier Since. 1989–1996
Quote. You've succeeded in convincing me life is worth living by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.
Miles. 16
Wheels. Masi 3v
Email. [email protected]
Highlight. Breaking my chain and crashing a mile from the pickup in Germantown. Then walking to the clients place and stealing a link from the chain of one of their bikes while dripping blood everywhere so I could ride back.
Goals. World domination
Relevant Info. Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel.

Dispatcher #8
Name. Brims
DOB. Scorpio–ism
Courier Since. Right after the dinosaurs died
Quote. There's always more work at TimeCycle
Average Jobs. 650+
Wheels. Bilenky Road Bike
Email. [email protected]
Highlight. I just live out my courier dreams/highlights through all the couriers I dispatch
Goals. To get the high score on all the pinball machines in the office.
Relevant Info. In Australia a dispatcher is called a controller which is way more mysterious & sinister.

Courier #25
Name. Matthew Kendig
D.O.B.. 9/24/82
Courier Since. 2002
Quote. There is only one thing the in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Average Jobs per day. a few
Average miles per day. a few
Your Wheels. Pink Presto, Red Vivalo, and “Sex Appeal”
Email. [email protected]
Deliver Highlight. The pretzel truck that hit me, then gave me a Brewster's Million
Goals. Work as a messenger until it's not fun then do something with my photography.
Relevant Info. If you don't know I'm ridiculous, then you don't know me.

Courier #26
Name. Jeff O'Neill
D.O.B.. 8/28/83
Courier Since. 2002
Quote. Is it raining outside? (as I'm soaking wet)
Jobs per day. 35ish
Miles. 30ish
Wheels. Level Track “blue”
Email. [email protected]
Highlight. Finding $183 blowing down Delaware Ave
Goals. No die. Start my own franchise of family style restaurants.
Relevant info. It's not nice to stare.

Courier #37
Name. Brian Bennett
Nickname. Chistachio
D.O.B.. 2/22/81
Courier Since. 2002
Quote. The last thing I remember is the 1st crack of the Sparks. –Hammer
Jobs. Enough
Miles. Enough
Wheels. 1972 Raleigh Super Course
Email. [email protected]
Highlight. Seeing guts on the table @ UPenn morgue.
Goals. To open “Hector's hotdogs” stand or become a house husband.
Relevant Info. It's not exercise, it's recess

Courier #39
Name. Bryan
D.O.B.. 4/4/80
Courier Since. 1999
Quote. Sorry doc, I don't have insurance
Jobs. Too many
Miles. Too many
Wheels. White, red, brown, and grey
Highlight. Stealing Mark's jobs
Goals. Moving back to the wild west
Relevant Info. Bionic Ankle

Courier #42
Name. Henry Duarte
Quote. Put me on the backburner
Jobs. Depends on how good my game of Tempest is going.

Courier #43
Name. Rachel Fletcher
Nickname. The Master of Disaster
D.O.B.. 9/18/79
Courier Since. I don't remember anymore
Quote. Things don't hit me, I hit things.
Jobs. 5-45 (depending on how annoyed I am)
Miles. Don't ask
Wheels. Landshark-Road, Steamroller-Track, Voodoo-MTB
Highlight. Delivering my heart to Jesus
Goals. To have some goals
Relevant Info. Str 12 Dex 16 Int 11 Con 23 Wis 26 Cha 9

Courier #45
Name. Lou Calvo
Nickname. Nice Guy Lou
DOB. 12/3/31
Courier Since. 1997
Quote. I'll be at church
Average Jobs. 5
Wheels. Honda
Goals. Retire

Customer Service Person #52
Name. Steve Norton
Nickname. Norton
DOB. 9/2/72
Courier Since. 97
Quote. Mission Accomplished
Email. [email protected]
Goals. Rum, sodomy and the last. –The Pogues

Courier #59
Name. Eric
Nickname. Airbud, Five-Nine, Woody Harrelson, I'm the Best, Gnarlsbad, Putty.
D.O.B.. 6/7/80
Courier Since. Rookie
Quote. ROTFL J