Who are you guys?

2008 wheaten terrier

 The following was sent to us via email from one of our customers. it appeared in the Chronicle Newspaper in Glenn Falls, New York.we thought everyone might enjoy.

Dear President-elect Obama, Mrs. Obama, Malia and Sasha, 

I understand you are looking  to adopt a dog as a family pet once you move into the White House. I heard President-elect Obama say that since Malia is allergic, you need a hypoallergenic dog. I would like to recommend the Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier a, said to be one of the best breeds for persons who suffer from allergies.  

In the event that you end up adopting a Wheaten, I’d like to give you a heads up on of the things you might expect, based on our family’s experience. We adopted a Wheaten in July, and she is now months old.

The Wheaten is first and foremost a terrier, and terriers are scrappy and feisty. They toe the party line, and I mean the terrier party. So every time you say something like, “Why is little Cookie digging up those heirloom roses planted by  Mamie Eisenhower ?", everyone will exclaim, “What did you expect. She’s a terrier. ” In fact, if you are looking to make a trip to China, little Cookie can help, since she’ll probably already have dug halfway there. 

Cookie will love to go for rides in the motorcades, especially in those big SUVs your family will undoubtedly drive around in (as long as they’re hybrids), but be careful when you head up to Camp David . Those winding, back country roads might make her car sick. (Our puppy loves Vermont but tends to throw up after being driven there.) 

Also, be aware that no matter how hard you try to keep little Cookie on an all-natural, organic, gluten-free diet, you will be sabotaged by well-meaning people bestowing all kinds of doggie treat gifts. Those ethanol lobbyists will probably try to feed Cookie dog biscuits made from corn. If she has too many of those treats, here again, she will throw up. 

As for personality, Wheatens do love their owners. But be aware they also love everyone else. If you invite people  over like that nasty Putin, don’t be upset when Cookie kisses him and acts like she wants to go home with him to Russia. It's nothing personal against you.

Oh, yeah, then there’s the jumping. Wheatens are known to jump three feet in the air when they greet their owners with kisses in the face. In fact, they jump three feet in the air to greet everyone with kisses in the face. So don’t be upset when Cookie kisses everyone in sight, even Sean Hannity. if she ever has the chance to get near him, which I doubt she will. 

Not only do Wheatens jump on people, they love to jump up on sofas and beds. So keep an eye on her when she goes into the  Lincoln Bedroom . Cookie will really do a number on that Martha Washington bedspread after she’s been digging up the Rose Garden, since her paws and snout will be coated with mud. 

Wheatens also require a lot of grooming. They should be combed and brushed every day, or their hair will become impossibly knotted and matted. It’s a challenge, but perhaps it’s something you could put Joe Biden on, since vice-presidents are always looking for things to do. 

Also realize that Wheatens go crazy at least once a day. Without warning, they start charging around the house (Cookie will love sliding on those parquet floors) and spinning like Whirling Dervishes. It makes for great home videos (check some out on YouTube ) and memorable entertainment for the many White House guests you will have. 

Finally, Wheatens are your secret weapon for reducing our nation’s dependence on foreign oil. When Cookie is happy and excited, you’ll be amazed how fast and powerfully her tail wags. I suggest you assign some of your top science advisors to figure out how to harness that energy — it’s inexhaustible. 

Enjoy your Wheaten. She’ll be your best friend no matter what Fox News reports about you. 

Copyright 2008, The Chronicle Newspaper, all rights reserved.